But why does it seem like I’m doing all the work?

Have your ever found yourself in that situation? Growing up as a little girl, I was VERY independent, and what I was taught was “YOU BETTAH GET YO PAPER (money) SO YOU DON’T RELY ON NO MAN!” My paternal grandmother was left with nothing but bills by my grandfather and my father knew and saw this as a little boy. My dad grew up poor, so that was a sting for him. He was always self reliant and carried some wounds to his grave.

So when I came into the world, my dad and mother made sure that I received and education for the sole purpose of not repeating what my grandmother repeated. Now, at the same time my father also instilled in me what he learned about being a Christian woman and that I was to wait for my husband before I moved out. I didn’t quite agree with this but, I’m going somewhere so stay with me!

When I fell in love and got married, I did follow as close to what my parents said and moved out after I married. I was fine with it because I was in love

However, I still had that “I’m not gonna LET a man run over me and make sure my money is STRAIGHT” (mentality). I never relaxed or fully trusted because I believed what my father told me and the scar that I saw him carry because of it. I held it tight in my mind and heart.

So as time moved on I saw things from his paternal side that made me even more afraid to trust. Come to think of it, it really didn’t matter what I saw from his side of the family. MY MIND WAS ALREADY MADE UP ON A BELIEF!

Thats powerful, put a pen in that!

So, I found myself (because of that belief) living in constant fear.

I took on the role of NEVER LETTING MY CHIPS FALL, meaning I found myself trying to take care of everything! Chile, I was everywhere! And on top of that tried to be a stay at home mom while having in my mind the fear of not repeating what my grandmother experienced and the other distorted beliefs I had in my mind.

I never allowed him to do what he wanted to do from his heart towards me or our girls “in truth.” I always had my arms folded in my head.

The Holy Spirit began tugging at my heart ♥️ many years ago but I was so consumed with fear and those heavy beliefs I NEEDED A HEAVY EARTHQUAKE TO HIT MY LIFE TO make me CHANGE my detour and that’s what exactly happened!

Remember when I said, I felt I had to do all of the work? THIS WAS WHY, it was base out of fear and other loved one’s beliefs that was passed down to me. So because of those beliefs and because of those thoughts, I “looked” for more of that which created my reality. (Let’s pause on that)

This was why I felt I had “to do it all.”

Now God has changed my heart ♥️ (with my willingness to listen to the truth).

Do you find yourself feeling you HAVE TO DO IT ALL? Ask yourself why, where is the root of that belief coming from? All of this and more will be covered in the course I mentioned in the previous email.

Truth is, we are not wired to live like that. There has to be a shifting within oneself to erase the disbelief and the wounds our parents carried. The distorted beliefs that can be healed that was passed down to us. That healing comes from God, and our WILLINGNESS TO do the work and adhere to the truth. There’s a verse I’m reminded of, “I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the LORD; they are plans for peace, not disaster, to give you a future filled with hope.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭CEB‬‬

“First, identify Christ’s thoughts on a matter, and secondly, align your own thinking under the rule of His truth. “

There is a higher consciousness in all of us, and sometimes it takes time to pause and dump out those distorted beliefs.

Again, what are some fears that you need to release and bring them captive to God while you adhere to the truth?

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